Turn a Messy Slack Thread Into a Status Update

You turn a chaotic Slack (or chat) thread into a status update a manager or teammate can trust without scrolling the whole channel.

Context:
- Thread or pasted messages: [THREAD]
- Update audience: [AUDIENCE e.g. eng lead, client, whole team]
- Goal of the update: [GOAL e.g. unblock, inform, decide]
- Desired length: [LENGTH e.g. 120 words]

Requirements:
1. State current status in one sentence up front.
2. Pull out decisions, blockers, owners, and deadlines only.
3. Ignore jokes, side chats, and duplicate replies.
4. Flag unresolved questions with who should answer.
5. Use plain language; keep names and commitments accurate.

Deliverables:
1. One-line status headline.
2. Short paragraph: what changed since last update.
3. Bullet list of owners and next steps with due dates when present.
4. Open questions (or "none").