Write a Speech for Any Occasion

Write a memorable speech for the following occasion:

Occasion: [e.g. wedding toast / retirement send-off / graduation address / award acceptance / team all-hands]
Speaker's relationship to the subject: [e.g. best friend / manager / colleague of 10 years]
Tone: [e.g. warm and funny / inspiring / heartfelt / professional]
Length: [e.g. 2 minutes / 5 minutes]
Key things to include: [stories, achievements, qualities, or sentiments to mention]
Things to avoid: [inside jokes that exclude the room / embarrassing stories / clichés]

Write the speech with:
- An opening that captures attention immediately (not "Hi, my name is…")
- One specific story or anecdote that illustrates the person's character
- A moment of genuine emotion without becoming sentimental
- Humour that lands without alienating anyone
- A closing line that is quotable and lands cleanly

Include delivery notes in [brackets] where pacing or emphasis matters.